SEX, MONEY, FAME, AND YOU

Don’t try to deny it. Men always crave them…

Sex… Money…

and Fame.

You wouldn’t be totally wrong if you called us a bunch of animals. We’ve fallen for the shiny lifestyle of movie stars, footballers, celebrity trainers, and millionaires, which has in turn led us to compromise our better lives and forfeit cultivating the character of a real man.

The fact that our clients rave about our physical prowess doesn’t help matters much. Verity over at News Hub referred to this phenomenon in her racy blog ‘Why Are Personal Trainers The New Sex Gods…

If you are curious, I hold a slightly different perspective.  

Until now, your beliefs about sex, money and fame are, in fact, a lifelong accumulation of confusion.

You might think sex, money and fame is one thing, but it’s actually another. I admit, that may be an unpopular perspective, but if I knew then what I know now, I would have chased something totally different.

Money, in fact, does not solve everything. Or anything, really.   

I’m willing to risk telling you something that you might not like (and believe me, I would’ve probably been the same, as more money meant everything to me).

If just one person out of everyone who reads (or skims) this takes what I say and makes the changes necessary, the risk was worth it.

Back when I was first trying to sort myself out, I went looking around for “man stuff” and nothing was ever available. It was all smoke and mirrors.

Still reading? Good. It probably because you’re interested in what else I’ve got to say or you still need a little context.

This next part is for the latter, because I have yet to convince you of this.

The way you currently think about sex, money, and fame will seriously make you an unhappy, lonely, cash strapped individual. When I say “you” I am, of course, talking about me, but I am also talking about you.

I can talk about you because of experience. Here’s where it all started… I’ve kept this version kinda clean, maybe in a future post I’ll add the unedited version… 

Exposure to Porn

Forget school. My “sex education” classes came from porn. My “mature” father thought it was a good idea to show me porn at 9 years old. It was just another night drunk for him, but it began to shape the kind of man I would become.

You might think showing porn to a boy is harmless, but it is not.

I totally degraded women from this point on. Not clients, of course. Girlfriends and hook-ups, mostly. It became an act of winning the “love” or sexual favour of someone — nothing else. Even when I thought I was in love, I still degraded women (if you are anything like me, you’ve fell in love a lot of times).  

Porn is really bad education, especially when you are young and inexperienced.

The desire porn creates will always leave you unsatisfied. I wasn’t addicted to porn; rather I was in a way traumatised and conforming to my father’s unhealthy habits.

Add to that some more “fatherly” advice. Don’t ever trust women. “There are too many of them to just settle with one.” Years on years “playing the field” really frigged up my brain chemistry.

A sexually obsessed personal trainer is not essentially different from a person addicted to drugs or alcohol. Both have lost control over their faculties of reason and willpower.

Over to you…

Have you ever been truly faithful to your girlfriend(s)? Do you always desire something better, or something else when in a relationship?

Say an opportunity comes up to go out with the lads. You go, because there’s always the fear-of-missing-out on strip clubs, threesomes, or just empty casual sex. It doesn’t matter if you have a client at 6am — you do it.

Staying in a relationship just because…

Easily influenced by the lights, the cars and the lifestyle footballers portrayed

I will tell you this. I lived like a footballer (just without the actual football).  

I’m not so sure if this was the case for you, but most personal trainers have some kind of history with a chosen sport. Mine was football.

Those that don’t quite fulfil their dreams of playing at a professional level, for whatever reason, tend to end up in the fitness industry. It’s a natural exchange, but there’s also a natural problem.

Everything I thought football would do for me, everything I needed football to do for me, was no longer available. I had to find alternative outlets.

I was still trying to prove to the world that I was good enough — grieving without realising it. Add some immaturity to that mixed up world, and I found myself chasing all the wrong things in the wrong places, pushing harder and harder, no matter what.

I was convinced that in order to live the life I wanted, I would need money, and lots of it. Like f-you kind of money. But, the game of chasing money is endless. And it only results in one thing.

Greed.

The lust of money make us slaves.

More importantly, it shines a light on our true weakness: our self worth. Most men see the worth of their manhood in terms of money.

As some say, “The love of money is the root of all evil.”

Your turn again…

Honestly, how much of your time do you spend thinking about money?

Do you worry when you have it and and when you don’t?

Do you even worship what money can do?

One last thing before we move on. This unhealthy mind of yours is only ever going to attract the same kind of woman, who are perhaps more defective than you. They are more defective than you because they are attracted to this lower version of the true you.

Afraid of connection, intimacy and love

Before I sign off, a couple of things I have said might be misleading (slightly), in that footballers, movie stars, celebrity personal trainers and millionaires have the fame, the money, and the sex, but what it means to them is so very different than what it means to us. We’re different animals.

It comes down to our greatest fears: connection, intimacy and love.

I’m conscious of the length this blog post is becoming. When it comes to personal trainers and gym owners, this really requires a full book of its own.

Here’s the kicker. Let’s admit it: you turned to the fitness industry because it gives you a level of control, approval and/or the security you can’t get anywhere else.

You simply haven’t put enough thought or effort in other areas.

If you want a to read more about this now, I recommend that you go and read this post over at the Men’s Movement: “Why Are Men Afraid Of Healthy Women.”

Conclusion

At my absolute worst, I did everything in my power to manipulate my ex’s to leave me, left women pregnant, kept relationships at a distance, even nearly killed myself drunk driving, all because I was trying to escape.

At that time, I wasn’t so self aware. If we were friends at that time, I would have told you that I simply needed a night out, to blow off some steam.

Trust me, you don’t want even half of this to happen to you. There is no way you’ll ever be able to focus on what you really want with this stress hanging around. All of this, and putting on this show, only made me weaker as a man.

It really is time for men to come forward and be men — especially in the fitness world.  Our world must have them, women anxiously seek them, and children desperately need them.

The only thing women want men to be is men. And the only thing most men desire to be is men. 

Most men do not understand what it is to be a man. That’s what Fit Man is all about: a conscious platform, a brotherhood to help you get rid of what’s standing in your way to becoming the man you know you are, and to help you redefine your current beliefs, values and standards so that you can get there on your terms.

When you find love and romance and are truly open to them, a whole set of new emotions will be released capable of driving you to super achievements in all areas of your life.

Your Journey

So things are little trickier now that you’ve read this? There’s a way to make your journey easier, and it may even help you find that special someone even quicker. Let’s chat privately about this here.

 

 

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